'Dear Evan Hansen' Star Jessica Phillips Is Rediscovering Herself at 50 as Part of the LGBTQ Community

Photo: Jenny Anderson; Matthew Murphy

The coronavirus pandemic has been life-altering for Broadway actressJessica Phillips.In March 2020,Dear Evan Hansen— in which Phillips stars as Evan’s mother, Heidi Hansen — halted performances in New York City. The actress’s busy Broadway schedule was suddenly at a standstill.“When the pandemic hit, I was at the peak of all this self-discovery and exploration,” Phillips, who has identified as a straight, cisgender woman for most of her life up until now, tells PEOPLE.“The shutdown really knocked the wind out of me.“When the curtain came down on Broadway, Phillips — like most — was quarantined with her family: her two children, Jonah and Malcolm (from her first marriage to Nicholas Rohlfing), and then-husband Tad Wilson, a fellow Broadway actor.During the theatrical hiatus, she booked television work that brought her out to Los Angeles. There — in total isolation — she learned more about herself. She now identifies as queer.“It wasn’t about changing identities, rather expanding my identity,” says Phillips.Jenny Anderson"That period of time [in L.A.] really was a beautiful experience for me and also really painful and scary and sad because, as you know, when we open ourselves to change and newness, there’s loss attached to that, and there was a lot of loss for me,” she explains.The actress, who turned 50 in November, was headed toward her second divorce. Her first marriage to Rohlfing, the father to her two sons, ended in 2011. She remarried in 2017, but when she came back from L.A. in April 2021, she ended things with her second husband.A Broadway vet who has also starred inThe Scarlet Pimpernel,Next to Normal,Priscilla Queen of the DesertandLeap of Faith, Phillips met theatrical publicist Chelsea Nachman the same year her second marriage began. She says it wasn’t long until she felt a “special connection.“Though it’s been “several years of navigating” exactly what their relationship looks like, Phillips and Nachman vaguely addressed their togetherness over the holidays. Phillips posted a picture of the pair for Nachman’s 33rd birthday in November, and Nachman shared a snapshot of the two kissing over Christmas.“It was all of the emotions,” says Phillips of the small but significant social media milestone. “It was super scary and super exhilarating. The celebratory part of it was beautiful to me. I was also aware of how surprised people might be or how it might be shocking news to some people.“Not only was Phillips acknowledging this new side of herself with her inner circle, she also opened up to her two sons, 18 and 21 — discussions she says she was “nervous” to have.“I had the conversations separately with each of them, and literally they were just like, ‘Oh, okay, great! So proud of you, Mom. That’s great!’ And then we moved on. It was so not a big deal,” she says. “They were 100 percent on board and supportive and happy for me. Of course, I was relieved, but I was also surprised that it just wasn’t more of a thing.“Still, there are many others she has not told. “My relationship to myself — with myself — has been a decade in the making,” she says.Jenny AndersonNever miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Nightly inDear Evan Hansen, Phillips steps into the shoes of Heidi, a hardworking single mother trying to teach her son Evan how to live life honestly and authentically despite the pressures to fit in a world where the musical’s titular teenager feels misunderstood.“It’s cathartic. It’s heartbreaking. It’s beautiful. It’s real,” she says of doing the show amid her own journey of self-acceptance. “Not only is this character relatable [to other moms in the audience], I’m also relating to the character. So we have that in common; we have a shared humanity. We are all imperfect, striving to take care of ourselves and our families.“Matthew MurphyPhillips' sons are currently in college. Jonah is an organic chemistry major, while Malcolm has his sights set on playing professional baseball.During a long car ride with her younger son Malcolm, Phillips once asked him, “What was the best thing you learned from your parents?““My son said, ‘The biggest gift that you’ve given me is the belief that I can go for this thing that is probably impossible. I look at you, and your life seems like a big risk. That you’re a professional actor is exciting and seems likenotnormal. You gave me the belief that I can do something extraordinary, too,’ " she recalls.Being able to address her sexuality publicly was important to Phillips as well. Despite the nightly standing ovations at Broadway’s Music Box Theatre, she confesses, “I do not have it figured out. I do not have the answers, but I certainly feel better knowing that most other people don’t either — that we’re all in it together, that it’s okay, that taking risks is okay, and changing your mind is okay.“She adds, “It’s been helpful knowing that we have to hit our bottom before we can climb and rebuild. … And the next chapter is so much more layered and rich because there is a level of understanding that wasn’t there before.”

The coronavirus pandemic has been life-altering for Broadway actressJessica Phillips.

In March 2020,Dear Evan Hansen— in which Phillips stars as Evan’s mother, Heidi Hansen — halted performances in New York City. The actress’s busy Broadway schedule was suddenly at a standstill.

“When the pandemic hit, I was at the peak of all this self-discovery and exploration,” Phillips, who has identified as a straight, cisgender woman for most of her life up until now, tells PEOPLE.

“The shutdown really knocked the wind out of me.”

When the curtain came down on Broadway, Phillips — like most — was quarantined with her family: her two children, Jonah and Malcolm (from her first marriage to Nicholas Rohlfing), and then-husband Tad Wilson, a fellow Broadway actor.

During the theatrical hiatus, she booked television work that brought her out to Los Angeles. There — in total isolation — she learned more about herself. She now identifies as queer.

“It wasn’t about changing identities, rather expanding my identity,” says Phillips.

Jenny Anderson

“That period of time [in L.A.] really was a beautiful experience for me and also really painful and scary and sad because, as you know, when we open ourselves to change and newness, there’s loss attached to that, and there was a lot of loss for me,” she explains.

The actress, who turned 50 in November, was headed toward her second divorce. Her first marriage to Rohlfing, the father to her two sons, ended in 2011. She remarried in 2017, but when she came back from L.A. in April 2021, she ended things with her second husband.

A Broadway vet who has also starred inThe Scarlet Pimpernel,Next to Normal,Priscilla Queen of the DesertandLeap of Faith, Phillips met theatrical publicist Chelsea Nachman the same year her second marriage began. She says it wasn’t long until she felt a “special connection.”

Though it’s been “several years of navigating” exactly what their relationship looks like, Phillips and Nachman vaguely addressed their togetherness over the holidays. Phillips posted a picture of the pair for Nachman’s 33rd birthday in November, and Nachman shared a snapshot of the two kissing over Christmas.

“It was all of the emotions,” says Phillips of the small but significant social media milestone. “It was super scary and super exhilarating. The celebratory part of it was beautiful to me. I was also aware of how surprised people might be or how it might be shocking news to some people.”

Not only was Phillips acknowledging this new side of herself with her inner circle, she also opened up to her two sons, 18 and 21 — discussions she says she was “nervous” to have.

“I had the conversations separately with each of them, and literally they were just like, ‘Oh, okay, great! So proud of you, Mom. That’s great!’ And then we moved on. It was so not a big deal,” she says. “They were 100 percent on board and supportive and happy for me. Of course, I was relieved, but I was also surprised that it just wasn’t more of a thing.”

Still, there are many others she has not told. “My relationship to myself — with myself — has been a decade in the making,” she says.

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Nightly inDear Evan Hansen, Phillips steps into the shoes of Heidi, a hardworking single mother trying to teach her son Evan how to live life honestly and authentically despite the pressures to fit in a world where the musical’s titular teenager feels misunderstood.

“It’s cathartic. It’s heartbreaking. It’s beautiful. It’s real,” she says of doing the show amid her own journey of self-acceptance. “Not only is this character relatable [to other moms in the audience], I’m also relating to the character. So we have that in common; we have a shared humanity. We are all imperfect, striving to take care of ourselves and our families.”

Matthew Murphy

Phillips' sons are currently in college. Jonah is an organic chemistry major, while Malcolm has his sights set on playing professional baseball.

During a long car ride with her younger son Malcolm, Phillips once asked him, “What was the best thing you learned from your parents?”

“My son said, ‘The biggest gift that you’ve given me is the belief that I can go for this thing that is probably impossible. I look at you, and your life seems like a big risk. That you’re a professional actor is exciting and seems likenotnormal. You gave me the belief that I can do something extraordinary, too,’ " she recalls.

Being able to address her sexuality publicly was important to Phillips as well. Despite the nightly standing ovations at Broadway’s Music Box Theatre, she confesses, “I do not have it figured out. I do not have the answers, but I certainly feel better knowing that most other people don’t either — that we’re all in it together, that it’s okay, that taking risks is okay, and changing your mind is okay.”

She adds, “It’s been helpful knowing that we have to hit our bottom before we can climb and rebuild. … And the next chapter is so much more layered and rich because there is a level of understanding that wasn’t there before.”

source: people.com