Claire Holt Reveals She 'Definitely' Experienced the Baby 'Blues' After Welcoming Son James

Claire Holt.Photo: Andrew Joblon Instagram

Claire Holtmay be hoping to one day have enough kids to field a baseball team, but the transition into first-time motherhood was no easy feat for the star.

“[Adjusting to parenthood is] nothing like I ever imagined and I thought I was a giant failure for the first month, for sure,” she said on Thursday’s episode of theInformed Pregnancy Podcastwith Dr. Elliot Berlin.

“I don’t think Ihad postpartum depression inany way, but I definitely had the blues and I definitely felt like I was doing everything wrong,” she admits. “I had tremendous anxiety about his health and his safety.”

Claire Holt Instagram

Because he had swallowed so much fluid, Holt says a nurse told her she’d have to be on the lookout for a particular noise that indicated he was choking on the fluid, and that she’d have to call for help to suction it out.

The Australian star said the incident kick-started a downward spiral that only intensified when shebegan breastfeeding and had troublegetting James to latch.

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Since welcoming her son with husbandAndrew Joblon, Holt shares that things have turned around and she now hopes to add to her brood.

“Right when he came out, I wanted four [kids]. After the first month, I wanted to give him back. And now I want 10,” she says. “I just love it so much. I don’t know if my body or my husband hope I have 10, but we’ll see.”

The Originalsactress previously alluded to her struggleson Instagram in April, writing that she has had many moments of feeling “exhausted,” “in pain” and “defeated” since her son was born.

“My only concern is making sure his needs are met, yet I often feel that I’m falling short,” Holt wrote. “Motherhood is an overwhelmingcombination of bliss and self-doubt… I just have to do my best and take it one hour at a time. Thankfully, this little guy is worth every second of struggle.”

Claire Holt/Instagram

Meanwhile, the star also spoke candidly on the podcast about how painful it was giving birth to James, as she had to have a Foley balloon inserted to help induce labor.

“Itwas so unbelievably painful for meand I feel like I have a pretty high pain threshold, in general,” Holt recalls. “There was pressure. So the contraction was so strong for me for that minute and … I basically contracted constantly for two hours, is how it felt.”

The actressannounced she was expectingin October, seven months after she revealed she hadsuffered a miscarriageand undergone aconsequent dilation and curettage procedure.

“You never forget the deep pain of loss. It dims with time but it informs many of your experiences,” Holt wrote inher announcement post, reflecting on the miscarriage.

source: people.com